I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize