it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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