i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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