Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
COCAINE IS GR8
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My feet surprised me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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