highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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