i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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