8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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