how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
