Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize