Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
