After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
