Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize