**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls are so social today.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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