he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
