If i come over, it means nothing
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
