Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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