My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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