Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
