literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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