it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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