I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
