I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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