Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
