I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
