I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
