we're blogging at a bar
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
