Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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