I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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