Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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