If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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