Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
