What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
