drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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