I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
