Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
