Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
