It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
bring money and cleavage
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
