phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
