Who wears a wallet chain?!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
