After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
