I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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