you would pick up someone in the library
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
