who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
