Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
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they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude. I can hear the air.
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