You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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