puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
