they need to just BURY HIM!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
