The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Randomize
