she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
