I need help removing her.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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