so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
