8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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