Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize