How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
