It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
