once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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