it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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