everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize